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These days you will do anything to distract yourself. You’ll dance in the mirror and pretend you’re at a night club, read until you confuse yourself with the narrator of the story, spend hours disconnected from reality. It terrifies you that you’ve forgotten more days than you remember. You feel like a melting pot, each day blurring at the edges. You want to move closer to the city, or fall in love, or dye your hair a daring shade that would make everyone do a double take. You need a holiday. You need to do something drastic. All you want is someone to come into your life and shake it up like one of the those snow globes that was sold at every souvenir shop in the 90's. Sometimes oil spills and turns the gravel into a rainbow and you feel sentimental for a second. Sometimes the skin on your fingers peel off and you feel even more sentimental because it gives the illusion that you’re shedding. You’re becoming. You feel like it’s about time you got it together, but you don’t realize how damn lucky you are. Despite the pain that comes from breathing and breaking and burning, you should be so fucking thankful. Maybe the sound of an ambulance siren will always make your stomach hit the floor. Maybe when you see a razor you’ll still fantasize, maybe when you see oncoming traffic you’ll feel like running straight into it. But stay, stay for you are so loved. You have made so many mistakes but you will never become one. It’s okay. Stay for the days that make your heart clap, the seconds where you feel freedom vibrating in your bones, the nights that electrify your hair and drag you to the stars.

Jessica Therese, “Stay”